Bad cocktail

    I know I was pretend to be drunk last night. I hope Jurgern didn't feels out. I bet he won't make cocktail for me again. I feel so bad, with a bit scare.
    Oh my god! What have I done?! I was not that drunk. I don't know what I want at that time. Try to attract Jurgern? I can't believe I was inhibited doing this. And I knew I don't really interested in him.
    Oh must I am crazy! I know I know I need something. I felt that.
    Something is changing. I hate it.
    I don't wanna go back again. Am I still love him? Is he still loves me? Or I don't want to love him any more?
    Long distance love..just bearly works! I need to talk to someone but he's not here. I need someone to company with, I need someone beside me...it never works.
    His mail didn't make any sense to me now. He's having his life and I'm having mine. I start to ignore him in my life and I don't feel bad. I think... this may be the end.
    Bye, Simon...!