Last diary

Today is the third day of 2013.10.3 today the weather clear national day night bar tonight. I am the only one feeling cold. Although I am a quiet. A pessimist. But it will feel no sense of security. I do not say that I am a stultify oneself man today to write this diary is because a person may write many personal feelings and family. Many related complex emotional or related elements. This is my last diary. Previous is in the diary to write after the net. You won't see I write the diary. I don't know why so much nonsense. Maybe too much instability emotions. The inner world is a mess. She is the September 20th found me. When I saw her come to my world seemed bright. Will not be lost. The light and dark are not lost. Because I feel that she is always my lights. The previous day to accompany me to talk on the phone about in the dead of night man. When I saw her cry that face my heart All of a sudden pain. The hearts of thousands and thousands of words can not say to give a hug to make two people's heart and a lot. Over the past 1 days 2 days I get along can then I saw she always like to play mobile phone Internet chat I think. Just don't ask don't dare to say. Just afraid of her unhappy so I ignored it you should endure heartache. Every unhappy face position to give warning but maybe she's mind but still don't understand. She only said you're not happy. I can smile 1. I said no ah. Remember the day I said to her mobile phone just said that she did not but later she said to look for you. In fact, my mind thought. But I see. That person hair... I don't know how to say. Is the two of us had love said. One afternoon my mood has been very bad to do things when the body endure pain. Trembling pain. Imagine the pain. After work, I also own a person back to the dormitory. Ignore her. Have a look what will happen to her. But the mood is not to say that can control can control back when. Hou point a cigarette in the window. All of a sudden emotional loudly on the outside say fuck you. Get the day before and she go to the buyer with the cast out. That's when I do not know to have scared her. Because I have a fever. She'll be back in the head water now. Think really thank her for 1 minutes of ideological work time. If she is arguing with me I think the result will be faster. I told her to say for a breath of fresh air. I go out just to calm himself time. Not to say to avoid something. I just cherish feelings. Don't want to lose.. to think of solutions. Do not want to regret anything. When I came back to see her playing or mobile phone. At that time I thought I to think of a person are of no use. Her heart is not in. She can feel indifferent but let me go to bed with her. I hold her behind my heart is painful. I think I hold later than my wife. My pain left in tears. She did not feel my inner world is so sad tears flow here all through the night. With heart pain. She's asleep. I was looking at her at her face. Just like this Like quiet and looked at her. See the morning. Every time I work really afraid she'll get tired afraid of her body. She told me that she was not in good shape. I have to help her bed every night. One night, up more than ten times I'm afraid that she will be cold if she is ill. I like her smile every day but and I gave her sadness. To give just pain. She cried when I really blame myself so useless what all don't give her. I do not deserve to be her boyfriend. Prior to the bad. Now. What you do is something. Other I don't talk about. I was afraid of flow tears. Said the two or three day national day. Originally wanted to want to spend with her. She said she wanted to go home. I know everything. I just don't want to say do not want to write. Only a sequence number to explain everything. I know it's just a dream. Now if I would rather be stuck in this dream. But reality is cruel. Chen Min, I want to say to you later take good care of yourself. Remember to cover the quilt to sleep. Don't eat too many snacks are not good for the body. This two weeks with you in together time, I am very happy. I used to be too cold for you. I'm sorry. In fact I thought you Feel really. But I can't do this. There is no room in my house. There is nothing I am afraid I can give you nothing. I know my idea to think the worst. I will change. Lose you now I regret not cherish thank you accompany me to the now. Ha ha. The clown I love you Chen Min. I love you. When it rains, is when I think of you. The clown