我该怎么办，我好痛苦，好无奈I do, and what,,,,, and what to do. ...

我是笨女孩，想简简单单的生活。默默无闻的成长，可是生活给了我太多的沧桑。。 不是所有事情都如自己所愿而发展。。我只有尽可能的演绎好自己的角色。。。 一直告诉自己‘Iam very strong ,,,i have been very good . 可是，当妈妈吧psychological doctor 带到我面前的时候，我害怕了。。。。 那种the familiar feeling 又回来了。 I really helpless ,,,pain,,frustration ,,depression,,,fear,,timid,,helpless.. 我感觉浑身都是凉的，不住的颤抖。。 我在心里为自己，钰，how do you ..我尽量不让自己表现出来，因为我知道他们都是为我好。。 我在心里不断的叫着你的名字，我想寻找一个依靠，我知道i count on you .... i want a strong point ,,,,everything will be the past .... 可是，当我们开始，，，，，，的时候，我才知道heart pain without feeling fragile,vulnerable cannot withst and a single blow. I don't know why ... my irritability,,, crumbled, and yelled at me clutching his head ...
I'm really suffering ... I'm really mad, and all things come smashed the room ... I just want you to give me time, I slowly recovered, I will slowly pick up.... Why let me face the pain, and I really can't stand that. ... I could feel feet pain, but more pain. ... After crying when I'm tired, and, hear the mother crying sound,,,, I'm so sorry,,, regret, why hurt her. ... Do not say strong,,,, did not say not to let home fears that,,, what do I do ...   I knew they loved me,,,, are good for me,,,, I just brought a frivolous case, ...   I do, and what,,,,, and what to do. ...